To wait, to desire, to imagine… Is also part of who we are.

We live in a time when we are constantly told that “to be happy, we shouldn’t have expectations”. That the key is to flow with life, accept whatever comes and expect nothing from anyone. Although this idea may be well-intentioned and seem liberating, it can sometimes become a subtle way of denying something deeply human within us.

Because waiting, desiring, imagining what might come… is also part of who we are.

From a biological perspective, the human brain is designed to anticipate. Our dopaminergic system — the network of neurons that motivates us, drives us and makes us feel excited — is activated precisely by the expectation of a reward. Not by the reward itself, but by the possibility that something valuable might happen. It is this anticipation that makes us get up, create, love, keep trying. In other words: without expectations, there would be no movement.

The problem isn’t expectations themselves, but the rigidity with which we hold onto them. When an expectation becomes a demand, or the only possible path towards satisfaction, we suffer. But when we recognise that we have expectations — because we are human — and approach them consciously, without denying or idealising them, they become a compass. They guide us without controlling us.

Contemporary spirituality often invites us to “flow with life”. And flowing, in its deepest sense, doesn’t mean resigning ourselves or disconnecting from desire. It means moving with the current without stopping rowing. It means allowing life to surprise us, yes, but while still moving in a direction we consciously choose. Flowing doesn’t exclude expectations; it integrates them into a wider process in which control softens, but purpose remains.

Expecting something from our partner, our friends, our work or ourselves is natural. It reflects our values and our needs. What matters is that those expectations are coherent and flexible, that they come from authenticity rather than fear.

When we understand this, we can live with the paradox: having expectations while, at the same time, letting go of the outcome.

Happiness isn’t about expecting nothing. It’s about learning to wait with openness. It’s about understanding that every expectation carries within it a desire for connection, meaning and growth. And when life doesn’t respond exactly as we imagined, we can still flow. Not because we don’t care, but because we understand that whatever comes can also teach us something about who we are.